October 19, 2020

Now Who Would Ever Think That You Can Have Fear of Fun?

Fear of fun often comes in the form of anxiety.

It can be fear of missing out. If you are afraid of missing out maybe you are having too much fun and need to slow down. Or, it can be that you fear you will not have enough finances in order to retire, so you don’t do anything fun, thinking it’s OK to wait until later.

Let’s dig deeper into each of these scenarios.

Anxiety

Anxiety can stop us from doing so much in our lives. I had a client whose anxiety stopped her from engaging so much in society that it was difficult for her to even order a pizza over the phone. When anxiety is at this level, it is hard to live in the moment or to be excited about getting together with family or friends. There have been many studies indicating that anxiety of crowded places has increased since the start of the Covid pandemic. The bottom line is anxiety strips the joy out of any occasion.

People often think of me as an extrovert, but when I am in a larger group of people and don’t really know anyone in the group, I become an introvert. It is difficult for me to find a topic that can keep the conversation going if the crowd I’m in does not have something in common. I am not at an anxiety level that some people have in this type of situation, but it is still something that I am always trying to improve. Remember, I have said before, I am not perfect, but I am always finding ways to keep my life more balanced. I guess you could call it Practically Perfect!

Too Much Fun

Some of us have a fear of missing out. When this happens, slowing down on the fun would be a good solution to a more balanced life. If you see fun is unbalancing other areas of your life such as relationships, finances, fitness, or field (career), then it’s time to reevaluate the adventures you are having. Many times, but not all, this shows up in abuse of alcohol or drugs.

I grew up in a home where my father got caught up in his drinking. It was fun and party time for him, but for his family, it was hell. Luckily, he decided he needed to do a pivot in his life in order to get more balance.

This can also look like taking on too many activities because it’s what we think everyone else is doing. We see a lot of this on social media. There is such a thing of having too many commitments. When this happens, activities end up feeling like a chore and a stressor, rather than bringing you joy.

I think one of the positives to come from this pandemic, is that people realized they didn’t need to be doing 100 different things at any given moment. When you slow down, you are able to find more gratitude – an OolaAccelerator for what you are able to do. You are able to really evaluate what you are passionate about (another OolaAccelerator) and what brings joy to YOUR life.

Waiting for Fun

There are others who keep putting off having fun because they think they will have plenty of time for that when they retire. Often, this stems from a fear of not having enough financially for retirement. No one knows when we are going to get called by God, so it’s important to find fun in each day. That doesn’t mean every day is a party. It just means you find joy in the moment. You are present and laugh as much as you can every day. This becomes an OolaAccelerator in the form of Discipline – showing up. Laughter is good for the soul and helps you find gratitude in even the smallest moments. There’s that OolaAccelerator again – Gratitude!

My Mr.’s parents both died before they retired, one at the age of 59 and the other 60. My grandmother died at the age of 60. It was hard having them leave us so soon, but even more so because they did not get to enjoy their retirement. All three worked very hard their entire lives to keep finances in place, only to not enjoy the reaped benefits. Now, I am NOT saying blow all your money and don’t have a savings. That is very UNOola! But, again it’s all about balance.

Affirmations:

Just as I have done in the previous blogs on fear, I will add some affirmations to stomp out the OolaBlocker – Fear. You can use what’s here or tweak to fit your circumstances.

  • I have all money I need, with plenty left over to do the things I enjoy.
  • I am present in each moment.
  • I find joy in each moment.
  • I am grateful for the fun I have in my life.
  • I savor moments with family and friends.
  • I am the author of my own life.
  • I choose commitments that bring me joy.
  • I have the integrity needed to say no when a commitment isn’t one I can promise to do to the best of my ability.

Need help finding balance?

As a Life Coach, I help my clients reach a balance in their lives by kicking OolaBlockers to the curb and bring on OolaAccelerators with a good dose of affirmations. If you would like, sign up for a 15-minute chat to discuss your options, or sign up for the unique Oola 10-Week Coaching Program with yours truly as your life coach.

Together, we are Positively Powerful!

 

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