August 10, 2020

I Hate Watching My Children Suffer!

I don’t have to tell any of you parents how difficult it is to see your child suffer. I hate it when my children are ill or suffering from something life has thrown their way, whatever yucky thing that might be.

Worry doesn’t magically disappear!

To be honest, this blog is for me just as much as it is for you, because this is something I am continuing to work on myself.  As our children get older, it doesn’t get easier.  In fact, I think it gets harder.  When your children are young, you have this silly notion that once they graduate from high school all the worry magically disappears. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, it doesn’t!

I have two wonderful children, both in their twenties and trying to conquer the world each in their own way, each with their own challenges.

Worrying about children starts the minute you think about becoming a parent.

As soon as you even think about becoming a parent, the worry starts. Will I get pregnant?  What happens if I can’t get pregnant?  When you find out you’re pregnant, the worry shifts.  Am I eating right?  Is my baby progressing in utero as it should?  When your child is born, more worries. Goes to school, other worries. It just goes on and on.

Now that they are older, a whole other bag of worries start. Will they make the same mistakes I did in my foolish twenties?  Will they get a job once they graduate from college?  Do my children truly understand that I don’t care if they go to college just as long as they are happy and productive with their lives. Will this significant other hurt them? Is this significant other good for them?  Are they drinking too much, and is it an actual problem or just a phase?  Are they taking life too seriously?  It just goes on!

Just like any other parent, I want the best for my children and hope all their dreams come true.

Along with that I want to be able to pay for their college, their first car, and their home so they don’t have to worry about finances. Or is it really so I don’t have to worry about my finances and theirs?  WHOA!  Where did that come from?  Be honest.  If you could, would you do that for your children so that they can start their life debt free?  In the end, would our children be better for it?  Maybe, they need to pay their way just as you and I have had to do.  This teaches many OolaAccelerators such responsibility (discipline and integrity), showing up (discipline and integrity), pride in oneself (love), wisdom, humility, and discipline to name five out of the seven to be exact.  Keep reading for gratitude and passion.

Worry is really another word for Fear.

Think about that for a moment.  All this worry is just another way we allow fear to rear its ugly head in our lives.  Fear is a sneaky little devil that invades our lives without us even realizing it.  I’ve been thinking about the worries I have for my children and have had to ask myself, have they gotten in the way of allowing my kiddos to grow into independent people?

I want my children to know no matter how old they are, say 80 (and I’m 123 because OF COURSE I’ll live that long), I will always be here for them. They just need to let me know when and how they need my help.  As parents our fear is there will be a time we can’t fix something or everything for our children, but I’m not so sure that is what we are supposed to do.  I know I have learned from my mistakes, and it has shaped me into the person I am today.  If my own children didn’t have these same (or different) experiences to learn from, what are they learning?  How are they molding themselves into the wonderful beings God has planned for them?

I am going to choose Peace over Fear and Worry.

I am going to have peace in knowing that when my children need me, I have loved and nourished them in a way that they know they can spread their wings and fly.  But, if they need my help, time to rest, inspiration, my knowledge or just my wit, they know where to find me.  I am making a decision today, to let go of the fear and worry for my kids and put in its place some of these affirmations, because THIS is what will help them conquer whatever it might be for their world to be just right for them!

• I am grateful my children know I am here when they need me.
• I love my children in a way that allows them to find and follow their own passions.
• I have raised my children to understand the importance of love, being grateful every day, trusting their own gut, and I have raised them to      follow their passions with integrity, discipline, humility, and wisdom.
• I have a calm mind knowing my children know I am here when they need me.
• I am at peace knowing that when my children need me, I have loved and nourished them in a way that they know they can spread their         wings and fly.

If this is an area you are struggling with, I am here to help. Drop a note below so we can schedule a chat or sign up for the unique 10-week Oola Coaching Program with yours truly. As a Life Coach, I teach the principals of Oola in order for you to live a fulfilling life and to be the positive role model you want to be for your children and grandchildren.

Together, we are Positively Powerful!

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