- in Oola
Well, let’s just start by saying I am a practicing Catholic, so guilt is engrained in me. I have a dear friend who once told me that people of the Catholic and Jewish faiths tend to be people who have lots of guilt in their lives. Now, this blog is not a dissertation on religion – rather it is about the OolaBlocker guilt.
Guilt goes hand-in-hand with forgiveness.
When I think of guilt, I often think of the high school years. High school can be an intense time. It is a competitive time, a time where you try to blend in with the crowd instead of standing out, where even the smallest mistake is not easily forgotten. It is a time of gossip and the untrue rumor mill. Life can be hard when you are in the thick of the chaos. But, fast forward a few years, and you soon realize that chaotic time was only a small part of your entire life. We grow so much in all areas of life beyond the 4 walls of high school. But during those years, how can you forgive yourself when your mistakes are constantly front and center?
I want to share with you times in my life that I felt guilt.
As I look back (Of course, hindsight is 20/20!) I realize I held myself back from accomplishing better things in my life because I had difficulty forgiving myself.
I’ll start with the summer of my senior year in high school. Remember, those high school years are tough!
The first has to do with my grandmother. She was ill with ovarian cancer. She had battled cancer a few years earlier, and now, it had come back. She was dying. We all knew it including grandma. This was the first time I had to face the death of someone so integral to my life. Rather than enjoying the precious time I had left with her on earth, I came up with reasons not to see her. It was too painful to be with her knowing it wasn’t going to last. Why do we do this? For me, it was a coping mechanism. If I wasn’t with her, I could pretend her illness and declining health weren’t happening. Of course, now, I wish I had put on my big girl pants and done the Oola thing by showing up – doing what needed to be done. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I had that time back with her. I have had to learn to forgive my naive self. I know that my grandmother knew I loved her with my whole heart, and she had already forgiven me because that was the wonderful person she was. If I am even half the person she was, I will have lived a life worth living!
The second time I carried a lot of guilt revolved around a bad relationship. I keep hearing Bon Jovi singing Bad Medicine as I write this bit. I knew it was wrong the whole, short time I was in the relationship. I feel that I definitely was allowing the OolaBlocker, self-sabotage, to do its work for me here. Luckily, I did get out of this relationship earlier rather than later. I can still remember when I was finally able to forgive myself of this relationship – which really is giving it too much weight by calling it a relationship. I was in my parents’ living room with my mom, and I just broke down crying. Not those pretty, movie- star cries. This was the ugly, hard to breathe, snot running out of the nose cry! Like I said – NOT pretty! I told my mom that every time I came home (meaning back to my hometown), I felt as though everyone was judging me and laughing at me and that I would never get the forgiveness I so craved from my parents or “the town”. Mom took me in her arms and just said, “You’ve already been forgiven! I love you no matter what! That was just a small piece of your life. Go on and do the amazing things I know you were meant to do.” I immediately felt this huge anchor and chains come off of me, and I felt like I was ready to fly! From then on, I never looked back. One of the positive things that came out of this situation was that when I met my husband, I KNEW he was the one and that he was a GOOD man.
Crazy thing about OolaBlockers is they want to wiggle their way back into your life.
That’s the crazy thing about OolaBlockers and learning to retrain your brain. Once you have combatted the blockers, they try to sneak in again to see if you forgot all the hard work you have done to retrain your way of thinking with OolaAccelerators and the use of affirmations. Whenever this happens, I start to say my affirmations again like a fervent prayer to let the OolaBlockers know they do NOT belong in my life anymore.
This is a perfect example showing that Oola is not a destination but a way of life. If you are ready to start this new way of life, leave me a comment below or schedule a 30-minute chat so you can start living the life you were meant to live!
Together, we are Positively Powerful!