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Monthly Archives: April 2021

Guilt and Fibromyalgia

In my last blogs I talked about guilt in my teens and when my children were babies. Later in life this is how guilt took a hold of me once more.

Fibromyalgia put my life in a tailspin.

As I have said before, Fibromyalgia put my life into a tailspin. I had so much guilt because I was unable to attend family events. And, even if I was at an event, I wasn’t really there – not 100%. I put everything I had to give into my job, and when I came home, I had nothing left to give to my family.

During the first few years of my illness, I took my kids to a lot of movies. It was one way I felt I could do SOMETHING for my children, but once the lights went out, I was out as well – sleeping the movie away because of chronic fatigue.

My daughter is the youngest of my children, and this time impacted her the most. She would have dreams where she would be calling my name and needing help. She could see me, but it was like she was seeing me through glass. I wasn’t coming to help her. When she told me about her dreams, my heart broke. She didn’t tell me to hurt me. We were being candid about that time. Now that she is older, we are able to discuss this time and why I was not present. Her older brain is able to understand it. We have worked hard on our relationship so that now she DOES know I am ALWAYS here for her!

Crazy thing about OolaBlockers is they want to wiggle their way back into your life.

She has forgiven me, and I have been able to forgive myself. That doesn’t mean every now and again the guilt doesn’t try to trickle back into my thoughts. That’s the crazy thing about OolaBlockers and learning to retrain your brain. Once you have combatted the blockers, they try to sneak in again to see if you forgot all the hard work you have done to retrain your way of thinking with OolaAccelerators and the use of affirmations. Whenever this happens, I start to say my affirmations again like a fervent prayer to let the OolaBlockers know they do NOT belong in my life anymore.

This is a perfect example showing that Oola is not a destination but a way of life. If you are ready to start this new way of life, leave me a comment below or schedule a 30-minute chat so you can start living the life you were meant to live!

Together, we are Positively Powerful!

April 13, 2021

Dang It Anyway, if Our Children Don’t Bring On the Guilt!

Dang it anyway, if our children don’t bring on the guilt, I don’t know what does?

This is my continuing series explaining how guilt showed up at different times in my life.

Continuing to teach rather than staying home with my children when they were babies was very hard for me.  When my children were born, I really struggled with the fact that I continued to work fulltime as a teacher instead of staying home with my babies. I felt guilt for leaving them to go to work. I also felt like I was missing out on precious moments that can never be redone. This is still the one do-over I would do if I had the chance. And yet, when I have brought it up to my children, they tell me to let it go because they LOVED being at Mary’s (their nanny) and that they never felt deprived by my working. Again, they had “forgiven” me before I could forgive myself. I say “forgiven” because they didn’t even realize they had to forgive me. It was all me.

Poor Mary, she thought I didn’t think she was doing a good job with my kids. We had to talk and cry together about my feelings and the guilt I had. She was an amazing daycare provider for our children. Someone who we still have contact with today.

A seed planted 25 years ago.

This is where that seed of a dream to use my passion of educating others and helping others while working from home really took a hold. I didn’t know how it was going to happen or when, I just knew at some point in my lifetime it would.

I am setting myself up so that when I have grandchildren, I can take care of them while their parents work. This fills me up with so much gratitude for my career.

If you are feeling stuck in guilt and having trouble forgiving yourself, comment below and we can get on a complimentary 30-minute chat.

Together, we are Positively Powerful!

April 7, 2021

How Does Guilt Play in Your Life?

Well, let’s just start by saying I am a practicing Catholic, so guilt is engrained in me. I have a dear friend who once told me that people of the Catholic and Jewish faiths tend to be people who have lots of guilt in their lives. Now, this blog is not a dissertation on religion – rather it is about the OolaBlocker guilt.

Guilt goes hand-in-hand with forgiveness.

When I think of guilt, I often think of the high school years. High school can be an intense time. It is a competitive time, a time where you try to blend in with the crowd instead of standing out, where even the smallest mistake is not easily forgotten. It is a time of gossip and the untrue rumor mill. Life can be hard when you are in the thick of the chaos. But, fast forward a few years, and you soon realize that chaotic time was only a small part of your entire life. We grow so much in all areas of life beyond the 4 walls of high school. But during those years, how can you forgive yourself when your mistakes are constantly front and center?

I want to share with you times in my life that I felt guilt.

As I look back (Of course, hindsight is 20/20!) I realize I held myself back from accomplishing better things in my life because I had difficulty forgiving myself.

I’ll start with the summer of my senior year in high school. Remember, those high school years are tough!

The first has to do with my grandmother. She was ill with ovarian cancer. She had battled cancer a few years earlier, and now, it had come back. She was dying. We all knew it including grandma. This was the first time I had to face the death of someone so integral to my life. Rather than enjoying the precious time I had left with her on earth, I came up with reasons not to see her. It was too painful to be with her knowing it wasn’t going to last. Why do we do this? For me, it was a coping mechanism. If I wasn’t with her, I could pretend her illness and declining health weren’t happening. Of course, now, I wish I had put on my big girl pants and done the Oola thing by showing up – doing what needed to be done. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I had that time back with her. I have had to learn to forgive my naive self. I know that my grandmother knew I loved her with my whole heart, and she had already forgiven me because that was the wonderful person she was. If I am even half the person she was, I will have lived a life worth living!

The second time I carried a lot of guilt revolved around a bad relationship. I keep hearing Bon Jovi singing Bad Medicine as I write this bit. I knew it was wrong the whole, short time I was in the relationship. I feel that I definitely was allowing the OolaBlocker, self-sabotage, to do its work for me here. Luckily, I did get out of this relationship earlier rather than later. I can still remember when I was finally able to forgive myself of this relationship – which really is giving it too much weight by calling it a relationship. I was in my parents’ living room with my mom, and I just broke down crying. Not those pretty, movie- star cries. This was the ugly, hard to breathe, snot running out of the nose cry! Like I said – NOT pretty! I told my mom that every time I came home (meaning back to my hometown), I felt as though everyone was judging me and laughing at me and that I would never get the forgiveness I so craved from my parents or “the town”. Mom took me in her arms and just said, “You’ve already been forgiven! I love you no matter what! That was just a small piece of your life. Go on and do the amazing things I know you were meant to do.”  I immediately felt this huge anchor and chains come off of me, and I felt like I was ready to fly! From then on, I never looked back. One of the positive things that came out of this situation was that when I met my husband, I KNEW he was the one and that he was a GOOD man.

Crazy thing about OolaBlockers is they want to wiggle their way back into your life.

That’s the crazy thing about OolaBlockers and learning to retrain your brain. Once you have combatted the blockers, they try to sneak in again to see if you forgot all the hard work you have done to retrain your way of thinking with OolaAccelerators and the use of affirmations. Whenever this happens, I start to say my affirmations again like a fervent prayer to let the OolaBlockers know they do NOT belong in my life anymore.

This is a perfect example showing that Oola is not a destination but a way of life. If you are ready to start this new way of life, leave me a comment below or schedule a 30-minute chat so you can start living the life you were meant to live!

Together, we are Positively Powerful!